The Joe Ultimatum

We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
-- John W. Gardner

The best way out is always through.
-- Robert Frost

These were here to greet me as I woke and checked my glut of daily necessaries waiting for me. Most days I have to pass them by for later, but today (of all days) I peeked.

Gertrude alluded to my goings on yesterday, so I will elaborate.

The film I worked on last summer is coming back to town for reshoots and pickups. Mostly exteriors (which we ran out of time and money for first time around), but also some new pages to clear up and better flesh out certain story points that rough screenings exposed. Anyway...

Last year, I had a different boss that was incredibly supportive (to the point that when it came time to make the decision to take the gig or not, and I was worried about the constant workload I wouldn't be around to handle, she told me she'd fire me if I didn't take it); this year, different boss with a different attitude.

When I first talked to to her about taking the job, I told her that these gigs would come up from time to time, as well as my eventual plans to segue into a parallel part of the family law biz (mediation); to both, she said no problem, we'd find a way to work it all out.

I got the call a couple of weeks ago that the production was starting up again and I told her straight away. Her first reaction was 'Well, I don't like it. We'll have to talk about it.'

Every couple of days since then, at times when little else was swirling around (which aren't that common, but they happen), I'd broach the subject again. Each time I received a variation of 'Yes, we do need to talk about that, don't we?'

Monday, I left a note in her box, raising the fact that it was almost soup, let's figure this out while there's still time.

Nothing.

Yesterday, when talking about plans for Squirt's 13th Birthday today (another post later about that), she asked, 'Say, what ever happened to that movie thing?

To which I replied (in the passively aggressive, smartass fashion that comes naturally at times like these) 'Oh, yeah. I start Monday, we should talk about that'.

Throughout the rest of the day, I let the full details of the schedule and my unavailability trickle out.

Then came the end of the day.

And she laid all of her cards out on the table all at once.

She didn't like it. Did I not want this job? What was she supposed to do if I were to be gone for 2 weeks?

Blah. Blah. Blah.

And then, she fell fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in A~th~sia, but only slightly less well-known is this:

Don't bluff Joe Banks unless you have the courage of your convictions.

She: You know this won't work. You're going to have to choose, the Film or this Firm.

Me: If those are my only two choices, there's nothing left to talk about. I'm sorry this didn't work out.

She: ... (lather, rinse, repeat for 15 seconds or so)

Me: (getting up from my chair)

She: We'll need to talk about this when you get back.

Honestly, it was pretty silly. She pays me to exactly what I did. Call bluffs, set trip wires to determine their determination, Good Cop/Bad Cop and the like.

So, I'm working half a day today, celebrating my daughter's 13th birthday on Friday, the Freaking 13th(!) and wiping my computer of all items possibly personal.

Y'know, just in case.

Enjoy your day.

I certainly will.

(Yesterday Was) Monday Monday

It was Monday all around yesterday...

But first, our story starts when I got a surprising call from Squirt, the progeny, Saturday afternoon.

Squirt: Hey, Daddy? I wanna run something by you.

[mall noises in background]

Me: (after a a snickering pause at how much her opening sounded like her mother) Okay, shoot.

S: (after a long way around the bush, VERY Joe-like ramp up to her eventual point, which made me snicker) What would you think about me getting my cartilage pierced?

[Keep in mind, that even though she's 12, she is getting ready to move to a new school--a public school, for the first time in her life--AND that she's my daughter...this didn't seem too out there, to me, at least ]

Even though I'm a very would-rather-have-my-head-in-the-sand-about-certain-things kind of dad, and that, if it were up to me, she'd be wearing a turtleneck bathing suit to the pool, this didn't bother me at all.

So, I told her 'yes' and listened to her be both surprised and excited, then told her to call me after it was done even though I'd probably be able to hear when it happened, what with the Mall they were at being only 5 or so miles away.

Squirt calls back a scant 5 minutes later.

Me: Already done?

S: Noooo(!)

Me: Wha'hoppen?

S: There's some stupid law now that won't let you get your cartilage pierced at the Mall. So, we're just gonna go to 23rd Street Body Piercing later.

So, she was disappointed, but wound up going to see Sex and the City with her mother as consolation.

Cut to: Yesterday afternoon and now they are on their way to get the top of her ear pierced, she called and was just about twice as excited as she had been Saturday. So, I tell her to call me when they're just a few minutes away, and if I could break away from Downtown, I'd hustle over to be there when she got it done.

Wasn't able to make it down there, and it's just as well. She called back with the news:

S: Auuuuuugh! I hate all these stupid laws!

Me: ???

S: Now, we find out that you have to be 16 (!) to get your cartilage pierced!

Me: Did you call them to find out first if there was anything else you needed to know after what happened at the Mall Saturday?

S: We called. But, um, not about that.

Me: What did you call about?

S: What time they opened.

Me: Uh-huh...well, that sucks, Squirt. I know how much you were looking forward to having it done.

S: Mom's gonna check out what the laws are in Texas...

But, it wasn't a total loss for her, as (another) consolation, she talked her mom into letting her get her lobes pierced again. This now makes 3 sets on either side. That'll do, Squirt. That'll do.


Here's the way My Monday started...

I grabbed my watch, wallet, etc., heading out the door this morning; got keys, lighter, smokes, check, check, check. Pens!
Grabbed the 2 I've been using most lately from the edge of the desk, slip them into my shirt pocket, off to save the world.

Got to work, poured some coffee, checked my reflection...one of the pens obviously is leaking. Damn! Pulled the offender out, to see if it was broken or otherwise usable...cap was FUCKING OFF! How'd I miss that?

Jeezy Creezy.